My work with individuals
My special interest is in helping clients who are living with trauma, whether it be recent or from the distant past.
The effects of trauma can manifest in various ways, including:
loss of a sense of self, low self-esteem, feelings of hopelessness, shame, anxiety, panic attacks, mistrust, self-harm, substance misuse, eating disorders, compulsive behaviour, headaches, irritability, depression, feeling numb, or feeling overwhelmed by emotions.
Furthermore, adverse experiences in childhood often impact our behaviour and relationships as adults.
As an unconscious strategy for safety, traumatic memories are often hidden. This enables people to cope and avoid overwhelm.
Unfortunately, these protections, once necessary for survival, often end up causing more harm than benefit.
I help and support my clients to develop resources which allow them to process painful memories without being overwhelmed. They can then move towards their release from the harmful effects of trauma.
My work with couples
There are many reasons why you as a couple may wish to come for counselling:
- Loss of connection between you.
- Unfaithfulness in your relationship,
- Loss of trust between you.
- Difficulties communicating with each other.
You may be arch enemies, good friends, or somewhere in between.
You may find it extremely difficult to be in the same room together, or to look at each other, far less talk with each other. What most couples have in common, is that they have had enough of how things are, and they want to find a new way forward.
My job is one of a coach and a referee helping you navigate this new direction in a respectful and honouring manner.
The Goal is Connection
My hope when working with couples who wish to work through their issues and stay together is that you go on a journey where you learn to listen to each other and speak to each other without fear and where your goal becomes a connection to each other. When the goal is connection, then neither partner is trying to ‘win’; both partners are concerned with the other’s needs which creates a safe place for you both to bring your disagreements without being on the defensive or in attacking mode. When your goal is to connect, I believe that you can work through the most painful issues.
Couple counselling is a safe space for you to decide together if you wish to continue in the relationship.
If you choose to part then this can be navigated in a safe, respectful manner adhering to each other’s feelings and needs.
Counselling model for couples
I use an Integrative approach to couple counselling, utilising several different models and influences: from the work of Harville and Hendrix, Dr. Sue Johnson Gottman, and the wonderful Esther Perel.